It's All About Giving
by Mord5ith
Summary: Rukia thinks about this Chrystmax thing. And Ichigo is so not helping. But hey, it's not simple understanding this "all-about-giving" thing! Every Christmas brings them closer. Will they learn their lesson? English is not my first language. So have mercy!
1. First Christmas Rukia

My first fanfiction. I don't speak english. So, have mercy. If someone has nothing better to do, I would gladly accept help.

* * *

**_First Christmas: Rukia_**

Chrystmax, she mused, was a strange holiday. People dressed up like a fat guy with beard and a fetish for red pants and keep singing funny songs about birth, stars and long and cold nights.

Once, Ichigo explained her Chrystmax was all about giving.

Giving.

"Well," she had asked him, with a puzzled expression on her face, "if everybody gives something, then, who takes it?"

He had just laughed and said it was a very good question. And that she would be able to give at it an answer herself, someday.

Her frown had just deepened.

But then, she had to leave. Before her first Chrystmax.

Before understanding the meaning of it.

But now... she wondered what she was missing.

* * *

Those were her thoughts while she sat at her desk. Loads of paperwork on it. Her pen between her lips. That day was Chrystmax.

"Rukia!"

She turned annoyed. Her friend, Renji, was waving at her like a crazy fool.

"Renji..." she greeted.

"Mmm... unusually quiet and serious. Are you beginning to act like a girl?"

"Fuck off, Renji!" she snapped.

"Oh... it's just you."

Wrong thing to say. She kicked him in the shins.

"Oh, and here I was thinking about asking you to take a day off and come with me!" He yelled at her.

"You know," she replied calmly, "I think I'll take a day off." She stated, standing up, and putting down her pen.

"Good! We could go-"

"No," she stopped him. "We are doing nothing. Leave me alone, Renji... just... today."

"What?" he asked taken aback. "Why?"

"I... I have something to figure out."

* * *

That night, Rukia stayed in her room at the 13th. She sat against the wall, thinking, alone, while sipping a warm sake. She didn't feel like being at the Kuchiki Manor. There, she was lady Kuchiki. She needed to be just Rukia. The same Rukia who was in the real world. The one with the human expression. Human feelings. She needed to understand humans.

She thought about the verb "giving". Did they give things up? Did they give awards? Gifts? Kisses?

Well... if only someone would GIVE her hints!

She thought about Ichigo. And how he would foolishly give his life for everyone. Even for her.

Did they give lives? But if people gave up life, then it would be all about death. Not giving.

She should be able to understand.

In her life, she gave a lot of things.

She gave the wrong impression to people. At first, everybody thinks she's just a weak, spoiled girl. She always gave people a reason to change their mind about that. She gave kicks and punches.

She had given kisses and hugs, grins, smiles (not always fake) and polite handshakes.

She had given up her food, there in Rugonkai.

She had given up her hearth, in that battle under the rain, while she gave her mentor and first crush the fatal blown.

She had given up friendship and trust.

She had given up her happiness for her brother's.

She had given her power to some stranger.

She was ready to give up everything for him.

She would gladly give him everything.

If this Cystmax thing was about giving, she was ready to give anything to him, she thought with a little drunken smile, falling asleep against the wall.

If only... he was ok with taking it.

* * *

Next part: 17th Christmas: Ichigo.


	2. 17th Christmas: Ichigo

**17th Christmas: Ichigo**

* * *

Christmas, he thought was a lot better when his mother was alive. His dad had always bought a tree way too big. And his mother had always hauled him over that, not really meaning it.

His mother had always made reindeers looking cookies, and, ironically, it was the only recipe Yuzu couldn't find.

Ichigo smiled bitterly.

That will be another pathetic Christmas.

This year, however, he felt pain in his chest, like someone was sucking the life out of him, like someone had hit him with Zangetsu.

He had this strange feeling, which sounded a lot like disappointment.

He was disappointed.

Why?

Because this year he thought Christmas will be different. Better.

Because this year he let himself enjoying the Christmas holydays.

He had actually looked forward them.

He had looked forward Christmas.

He thought it will be a nice Christmas, because he should have spent it with her.

The crazy midget bitch who melt his heart.

How many were the things he couldn't teach about Christmas. He would give anything, just to see her amazed expression. She would have loved Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, midget" he thought.

* * *

"Ichi-nii!" his sister called out. "Dinner's ready."

"Yeah, yeah," he replied. "I'm coming!"

This year, Chrismas took a heavy toll.

* * *

He remembered when Byakuya came, just a week before, asking for his sister.

Soul Society needed her, he said.

At first, he touched the hilt of his sword. Then her brother told him to calm down.

"She'll be safe." he assured. "She isn't facing any dangers, if not the joy of paperwork." the man replied, almost smiling at his edginess and hesitation in believing him and let Rukia go.

Ichigo didn't really like letting her leave. He was worried and anxious, and even when he knew for sure nobody would hurt her, he still wanted her with him.

She went with his brother, while he could just put a fake smile and watching her go.

And he hurt.

Oh, boy, how much it hurt.

* * *

"What, boy?" his father asked, bringing him back in the present time. "This Christmas your frown is touching an entire new level. Are you trying to enter between the Guinness or what?"

"Ohi, leave me alone, old man."

"Give your dear father a hug!" the older Kurosaki yelled, opening his arms. The teen answered giving him a kick square on his chest.

"I said: LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"What, Ichigo? You couldn't bring your sweet sweet sweetheart under the mistletoe, this year? You wanted to kiss her so bad bad badly, but you couldn't find the guts? Don't worry, my boy, she would soon acknowledge youuuuuu and kiss kiss kiss you all all all night!!!!!!"

"Fine, if you're going to be like that, I'll go in my room. I'm really tired."

"Ichi-nii, do you want to take some food up your room, like always?"

Like always? No... not like always, he thought, just like when Rukia was here...

"No, Yuzu, thanks. I'll just go to sleep."

"Don't worry, Ichigo!" his father yelled. "LOVE ALWAYS WIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

That night, after Karin shut up their father, he dreamed of mistletoe, kisses, Rukia and more kisses...

His father gave him good hints for next Christmas.


End file.
